Fastest Ways to Get Fired Tier List

Share confidential info with your marketing friend at PAI

Consistently missing your in/out times

Hit me with a baseball bat as hard as you can

Make a “That’s what she said,” joke during a marketing meeting

Make a “That’s what she said,” joke during an HR meeting

Make a “That’s what she said,” joke during an executive meeting

Forging a signature to get approval for new software licenses

Accessing coworker(s) payroll or medical records

Smoking a joint in the parking lot

Consistent missed deadlines

Not calling or texting someone for an unexcused absence

Caught with headphones on the warehouse floor

Caught with headphones on while walking to the accounting

Dating someone you directly supervise without disclosure

Buescher sees you texting multiple times at your desk

Excessive personal internet use

Poor attendance without doctor’s note

Consistent “Reply All” on company-wide emails

Sarcastic/snarky email to a Director

Bringing your pet to work without permission

Telling a customer “That’s not my job.”

Using ChatGPT to write every email

Saying “This could have been an email,” after an HR meeting

Stumbling into Krosky’s office after a Compadres lunch and exclaiming, “Don’t worry, I’m at 110%.”

Moonlighting as a product catalog designer for PAI

Telling a coworker their performance is terrible

Negative posts about Interstate-McBee on your own social media

Selling customer contact lists to your cousin’s startup diesel repair garage

Use the company credit card to buy pokemon cards for yourself

Burn the Magnus plushie to ash in the warehouse

Mention confidential company acquisition plans in your fantasy football group chat

Using the company printer to print flyers for your side hustle every Friday

Accepting a free PS6 from a vendor in exchange for using their services

Emailed around other people’s salary information because “people deserved to know.”

Microwaved an old salmon during an important customer visit

Spent an hour arguing on the Marketing Teams chat whether Pineapple belongs on pizza

Accidentally called Buescher ‘Dad’ in front of everyone

Unironic use of Comic Sans in a presentation