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Geoff's Rice Songs

S
B-U-R-N Rice
Don't Cook Rice Fine
The Burning of Rice
All of the Rice
Rice is a River
A
Rhythm of the Rice
Burning All the Rice
Bomba That's Been Fried
Smolder Ancient Grains [Hold On]
Another Unburnt Speck (Another Grain That Should Scald, Part Two)
B
Charring Rice Like Raisins [California Dreamin]
Don't Trust Chefs (Chefs Don't Know Rice) [Don't Know Why]
Rice With Blue Chew
Fuck Up Some Rice
C
Scalded Rice
Scorched Char
Riceburn
You Oughta Char (Consistency of Ancient Grains)
Fields of Grain (Specks of Char)
D
Wok To Ensure Burnt Char
Cereal Searing (Burnt Rice in a Bowl)
Fast Char (Hot Wok)
E
I Can Touch Grits, No Really I Can (The Blistered Millets Department)
Created Jan 27, 2026
Geoff's Rice Songs ranks an eccentric collection of parody tracks obsessed with the art (or crime?) of burning, charring, and scorching rice to perfection—or disaster. These hilarious reimagined classics include "Scalded Rice," "Charring Rice Like Raisins [California Dreamin]," and "Don't Trust Chefs (Chefs Don't Know Rice) [Don't Know Why]," each celebrating the controversial culinary technique of deliberately burning grains. From wok mastery in "Fast Char (Hot Wok)" to the poetic "Fields of Grain (Specks of Char)," these songs explore every angle of rice preparation gone delightfully wrong. Whether you're team crispy char or team perfectly steamed, this ranking offers a humorous deep dive into one person's musical obsession with transforming innocent grains into blackened, blistered masterpieces.

(This description was AI-generated)