Ever wondered who you could win against in a hypothetical showdown? This ranking evaluates an eclectic mix of opponents ranging from the oddly specific (The Guy Who Once Stabbed Me, Farnam Jahanian) to the conceptual (Gender dysphoria, Procrastination, The War On Christmas).
The list features everything from physical objects like ice skates and loud noises to abstract concepts like Woke and The "So True" Emoji. There's even The Military Industrial Complex thrown in for good measure. Personal nemeses like Schoolwork and Back pain compete alongside mysterious entries such as "A random KGB member" and various configurations of people named AC, Violet, and Rosalyn. It's a delightfully chaotic assessment of winnable battles, both literal and metaphorical, with surprising specificity and self-aware humor throughout.