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Quotes. You've been warned.

#1 on google, put it on essays, speeches, just yes
inside joke material. emphasis on inside
“I can love chicken nuggies and still love the gays.” -Evie Knight
okay i can get behind this one
you didn't stick out to me. (dance moms mentioned)
"He fits! He fits perfectly!" -Lydia Redder
"Look how Kevin fits! C'mere!" -Lydia Redder
“No! He fit and I was so happy!” -Lydia Redder
"He fits! Ooh, he fits!' -Lydia Redder
oh... that's not...
“Stop being so hard with it, just go with the flow.” -Charlotte Richmond
no. just no.
“I deleted my playlist of one year! It had a thousand thongs.” -Val Goode
BURNING THIS AND THROWING YOU STRAIGHT INTO HELL
"It's your business if you wanna get in the coochie." -Will Krueger
“That’s cuz he’s more of a dick to me. He only has one so he has to use it sparingly. Meanwhile, I have four, so i can be a dick as much as I want. And eat dick as much as I want” -Evie Knight
"Those blueberries kinda look like titties." -Zoe Cooper-Serna
H
hillryana
Created Sep 8, 2026
**Quotes. You've been warned.** is a chaotic collection of the most unhinged, out-of-context, and hilariously questionable things people have actually said. From Evie Knight's endless stream of consciousness ("I'm feeling the vibrations in my throat. That feels nice.") to philosophical ponderings like "Can you laugh off pounds?" and Will Krueger's observation that "Marriage is a state of mind, not a state of being," this compilation captures the beautiful absurdity of everyday conversations.

Whether it's Billie Russell's existential crisis moments, Grace Cox being "built carbonated," or someone genuinely asking "Why can I feel my heartbeat in my asshole?"—these quotes prove that context is everything, and sometimes the funniest moments come from the most innocent (or not-so-innocent) slip-ups. Fair warning: you'll question humanity, laugh uncomfortably, and wonder what exactly was happening when these gems were uttered.

(This description was AI-generated)
Remixed fromQuotes. You've been warned.by William Krueger
“When doing a colonoscopy, you gotta put your back into it.” -Sam Holbrook
“Cocadoodle doo motherfucker, am I right?” -Eli Young
“I think my forehead should count for two people.” -Billie Russell
“Replant and reproduce, that’s what I like to say.” -Eli Young
"She's moaning and he's talking about putting your back into a colonoscopy." -Ripkin Rohloff
"I'm about to lay an egg." -Brandon Radcliffe
"plz I am innocent" -Conner Lang
"I turned out to be a burnt, crispy raisin." -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"I don't have any, either. Don't feel bad." -Lydia Redder
"You're being too zesty. You're my husband, not Porter's." -Lela Kaufman
"Never do identity theft." -Lydia Redder
"That's hard." -Tyden Greene
"That's not a good quote. It's not special." -River Sichmeller
"Ooh, that's a juicy marker." -Loni Obluda
"Cocaine is fun." -River Sichmeller (This is a joke)
“You smell like you bathed in a candle.” -Evie Knight
“Frying pan with a big-ah handle if you know what I mean.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“I love that picture. It looks like she’s deepthroating the pool noodle.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“Not the synagogue getting defiled!” -Billie Russell
“What is wrong with CCC?” -Quinn Burback
“Mmmm i love breakfast” -Sam Holbrook
“I’m making you ramen, be happy.” -Luci Warziniack
“The oppiest op in opmerica.” -Billie Russel
“Be patient you pigs.” Nikola Pawelski
“Well, we’re just better than them snap snap SNAP” -Billie Russell
“It kinda looks like you did something to a Smurf.” Eli Young
“Ahhhh I’m a nicotine addict.” -Eli Young
“I usually just have an egg.” -Ben Schwarz
"Am I crazy- Don't answer that." -Loni Obluda
“Is this the WeHo of New Orleans?” -Will Krueger
“Hehe 69.” -Evie Knight
“Guys I make a really hot man.” -Ellie McMeeking
“Don’t do that! You’ll give me more split ends.” -Wendi Burback
“I need water! I’m dehydrated! I feel parched!” -Analeigh Beslisle
”The heel is like the doghouse.” -Val Goode
“The holy trinity of stuffed wolves.” -Val Goode
“If I was a girl I’d be a baddie.” -Kellan Reese
“Don’t smell the sound. That’s not a thing.” -Marley Jennings
“Was there a hand just then?!?!” -Luci Warziniack
“The coffee go woooo” -Allyson Dixon
“No finger kisses for you, asshole.” -Luci Warziniack
“I think he was chlorine crazy.” -Milo Pease
“Sometimes you have to just accept it and embrace the airport.” -Luci Warziniack
“Marriage is a state of mind, not a state of being.” -Will Krueger
“IM LITERALLY COOKING!” -Val Goode
“PICK ME, CHOOSE ME, SHOOT ME (don’t actually shitface) -Allyson Dixon
“Pee yourself so we’ll be twinning!” -Shiloh Speciner
“It’s a surprise from America!” -Allyson Dixon
“I wear thongs all the time.” -Isaac Walker
“tis a HOT saber tooth tiger” -Elias Young
“I just say Sam, and they both come.” -Allyson Dixon
“It’s in my computer slot.” -Luci Warziniack
“This flipping AirTag.” -Allyson Dixon
“I WANT GARLIC KNOTS!!!” -Val Goode
“If you’re in love, say you’re in love.” -Jennifer Jennings
“I committed a crime today and it will not be disclosed.” -Milo Pease
“If you slap Val, Val will slap you.” -Alex Harper
“Like a colonoscopy, but through the other end.” -Anonymous
“Sometimes I fail in life.” -Allyson Dixon
“The whole bus is in Krestina. Poor Krestina.” -Luci Warziniack
“My soul hurts.” -Luci Warziniack
“I don’t want to pull a muscle, I wanna pull a hot Greek man.” -William Krueger
“I have a singular pack of ab.” -Izach Zamora
“If you think about it, I’m not fat. I just have one big ab.” -Izach Zamora
“I’m gonna deepthroat a good old cigarette.” -Eli Young
“The peas are not appeasing right now, bruh.” -Luci Warziniack
“I’m crying as I moan.” -Eli Young
"plz help me" -Conner Lang
"How did you make it tiny?" -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"Not the chicken drumstick playing baseball. That's literally Sully." -Will Krueger
“Not me. I finish every time.” Akira Sharpe
“Yes but he’s OUR golf ball.” -Billie Russell
"You're screwing me right now bruh." -Luci Guido
"I can't get out! It's stuck!" -Luci Guido
“I could be a porn star, let’s be real.” -Billie Russell
“Aaaaaah slurp.” -Sam Bren
“It takes a moment my phone is blonde like me.” -June Kelleher
“Why is there cleavage on my neck? My boobs are down here, not up there.” -Luci Guido
“Ugh I can’t speakkk. Hawk tuahhh.” -Luci Guido
“Frick I knocked the weiner down.” -Luci Guido
“You only love it if you can pop it and stuff comes out.” Lilou Huzieff
“That’s just my autism, don’t worry about it.” -Brielle Luna
“If she’s nine, she’s mine. If she’s eight she’s great.” -Grace Cox
“If the shoe fits, lace that bitch up.” -Renee Rapp
“You really gotta clap it, ya know?” -Charlotte Richmond
“Where’s the kid? I wanna break him.” - Anna Seigfried
“I know. We’re literally twins. I came from you.” -Billie Russell
“Quote me on that, I’m gonna cry.” -Luci Guido
“I don’t have enough bookshelves. These bitches be overflowing.” -Billie Russell
“Guys the new season of Ginny and Georgia is out. I need to watch my laundry and fold it.” -Luci Guido
“I want it to explode tho.” -Billie Russell
“You look like the Onceler heehaha.” -Lela Kaufman
“You’d be like, ‘Ooh, testosterone. Also, boobs.’” -Lela Kaufman
“Please don’t refer to yourself as an estrogenius.” -Billie Russell
“my dry hoe is being dryer than his dry boner” -Luci Guido
“Just this morning I was thinking about how I should purchase more underwear.” -James Krueger
“We’re REALLY Amish.” -Lela Kaufman
“I was orange too!” -Ellie McMeeking
“You can’t wait for magic!” -Brooke Bower
“Does this bus have seat belts?” -Brooke Bower
“He’s stupid.” -Porter Kelly
“You don’t have my consent right now.” -Quinn Burback
“WHAT IF HE MEANT FEET?!?!” -Lela Kaufman
“I’m deepthroating my card.” -Quinn Burback
“I really ate up with that one. Dick that is.” -Billie Russell
“If I could kidnap a baby, I would.” Olive Giuliani
“You can be lesbians. It’s okay.” -Lela Kaufman
“Sorry phone, my dad died.” -Ellie McMeeking
“Is that the missisippi? It’s ugly.” Ellie McMeeking
“I don’t think I wanna bite your stomach.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“I’m sorry I don’t find mustard attractive.” -Julianna Lehman
“He’s in the trunk.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“I’m shedding.” -Evie Knight
“So if I spray it in you…” -Sam Bren
“Hahaha I need a gun.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“If he gets cream, I get cream.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“Fuck me in the asshole.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“That’s so real bruh. My soul hurts too. And my ankles.” -Billie Russell
"My class is full of mistakes." -Julie Thompson
"What if I'm afraid of girls?" -Greyson Elliot
“I felt like being a horse for a second. Is that so wrong???” -Evie Knight
"I don't feel important anymore." -Sarah Tenbrink
"He just goes, 'Hey Loni. Your mom called. She said you were a mistake." -Loni Obluda
“Flip it, bitches.” -Teresa Krueger
“I think there’s something inherently phallic about the Amazon logo.” -Michael Krueger
“Holy shit my thigh is pink.” -Evie Knight
"It's not my fault my dad shot me out of his ballsack." -Ripkin Rohloff
"Don't poke, stab." -Ripkin Rohloff
"I need to kill it! I got it. Oh wait, she's still alive." -Val Goode
“The dresses will come in freakishly long.” -Loni Obluda
“Damn he knows how to do it.” -Val Goode
"These seventh graders are fuckin rabid." -Val Goode
"I have blowing skills too." -Will Krueger
“Let’s go from the bottom up, shall we?”-Will Krueger
"My sister is pregnant. I'm gonne be a dad!" Holden Koenig
"Get your cheekies back to your assigned spot." -Nicole Seitsma
"We're not cows, we're majestic sheep!" -Loni Obluda
"Nothing says America like deep-fried eagles." -Loni Obluda
"I'm a grown man. I mean woman." -Charity Kleier
"You also have chin wrinkles. Chinkles." -Will Krueger
"If Will is a lesbian, doesn't that mean he's just straight with extra steps?" -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"She revolves around David now." -Maycie Snowdon
“I’m flesh, thank you.” -Val Goode
“Goodbye Denver, hello Colorado.” -Breccan Laffey
“I can always go higher. Just sniff more.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“I am still a virgin.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“Burgers are meat smoothies actually.” -Austen Smith
“Everything wishes it was Dawn, let’s be real.” -Billie Russell
“So gorgeous, I love seeing placenta everywhere.” -Billie Russell
“He’s just a dumbass straight boy with a different perspective.” -Will Krueger
“I’m a bacon eater.” -Loni Obluda
“Is cool. Wink wink… why the fuck did i say that?” -Billie Russell
"I love being on the Norah rollercoaster. There's so many feelings." -Evy Trimmer
"I'm built carbonated." -Grace Cox
"I'm not gonna deepthroat a chicken." -Will Krueger
"Zoe, let's just pretend to be normal. You don't have to be normal, just pretend for us." -Nicole Seitsma
"At least let me swallow." -Lily Kneizler
“We love ozempic dogs.” -Zoe Cooper-Serna
“She’s slim thick.” -Val Goode
"He's literally made of 5 twigs and a rock head." -Sage Maggiore
“I need to be like chained up in a mental asylum like what the hell is wrong with me?” -Billie Russell
“Hot hot bitch motherfucking ow.” -Billie Russell
"Can you laugh off pounds?" -Aniya Frierson
“Me and Sam had her do it with hard and soft ones.” -Evie Knight
“If Jesus was alive right now, y’all would’ve called him a socialist and deported him.” -James Krueger
“What happened? Was she abused? -Ben Sichmeller
“Connection unstable. Just like me!” -Evie Knight
“I wanna go to the top.” -Evie Knight
"I like opiods." -Jazz Mooney
"I wonder if anyone has ever tried to like... give birth to the world. If that makes sense." -Aniya Frierson
“I’m not. Because i’m the hole.” -Evie Knight
“He may not have food, but he has has friends. And when they get hungry enough, they’ll eat each other. Anyways.” -Evie Knight
"Doesn't Lee look like he could suck some dick?" -Sarah Tenbrink
"Give me head, Lee Doe." -Gus Fling
"I'll touch it by the tip." -Rye Evans
“Eat a dick, pal.” -James Krueger
"Can I bite this balloon and drink up all it's helium?" -Norah Smith
"Why can I feel my heartbeat in my asshole?" -Sarah Tenbrink
“We have a handshake. It’s basically marriage.” -River Sichmeller
“There’s nothing funny about Jeffrey Epstein.” -Aspen Ligon
“Nikola, you swallowed it whole!” -Valerie Goode
“I’ll shoot you in one hole and out the other.” -Evie Knight
"I therapize myself. And others." -Ripkin Rohloff
“I got a pokey in my underwear.” -Billie Russell
“I love little girls. They’re so cute bro.” -Billie Russell
"I always finish." -Ripkin Rohloff
"I'll throw hands with fractions." -Nicole Sietsma
“Snow White has a foot dick.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“This is the dildo tree.” -Lilly Kneiszler
“I’d love to give anorexia a go but my body is build for food.” -Helen Goode
"I plan to do it on my period so I have an excuse to be a bitch." -Val Goode
“Say little ginger man tap dancing.” -Val Goode
“It’s the one with a dick in his mouth sideways.” -Evie Knight
“Can I touch it?” -Olive Giuliani
“As Olive once said, ‘Can I touch it?’”-Flynn Sullivan
"I am a biohazard." -Sarah Tenbrink
“I’m feeling the vibrations in my throat. That feels nice.” -Evie Knight
"I'm about to unconceal my concealed firearm if you don't give me my fries in the next 5 seconds." -Ripkin Rohloff
"I wish restraining orders weren't a thing." -Sarah Tenbrink
“I would be a pedophile. Loud and proud.” -Evie Knight
"I'm gonna start barkin." -Will Krueger
"I like edging in Gus." -Rye Evans
"Do you think they blocked Foot Finder?" -Sarah Tenbrink
“These children need The Lord.” -Loni Obluda
“Yes, Olive is ahead of Elijah. I like her more.” -Evie Knight
"She's caressing my curves." -Adaya Bravo
“Like nudity?!?!” -Aspen Ligon
“LET ME LIVE MY PRETTY PRINCE LIFE.” -Ripkin Rohloff
“Nikola swallows people with her dih. It’s shaped like the demigorgon from Stranger Things.” -Will Krueger
“Why didn’t that go in, bro?” -Ripkin Rohloff
"It's only a problem if its wet." -Nicole Sietsma
"I'm so good with scissors. Just look what I did to my bangs."-Zoe Cooper-Serna
“Your name looks retarded.” -Lydia Redder
“Donkey tatas in your burrito.” -James Krueger
"Is Smurf cum blue? That's the question of the day." -Will Krueger
“Felicia, go back in.” -Charity Kleier
"Fut the shuck up." - Shiloh Speciners
*starts changing* "You girl, I girl, it's okay!" *proceeds to piss herself* - Shiloh Speciner
"I wonder if kids born in China have a label on them that says, 'Made in China'." -Ripkin Rohloff
“First I was jerking off to my granddad, now I like Ted Bundy.” -Ripkin’s Fav Podcast Ig
“But he’s the cutest muffin ever!” -Austen Smith
“It takes us months to learn how to play a note right, but you’re just like, ‘Haha, key go bingbong.’” -Will Krueger
"You look like a white man with slaves." -Lydia Redder
“When the two balls bang together…” -Frenchy Morrisette
“I’ll put my barrel in your cracker.” -Will Krueger
“It’s a bag of wooden fucks. Put it in.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“Men from Dubai, no lie.” -Rando Lady in Denver
“We can just kidnap you. We’re not legally required to bring you home.” -Austen Smith
“Your crack is so crooked!” -Austen Smith
“well he’ll prob grow out of the acne. sadly you can’t grow out of being ginger.” -Evie Knight
“Can you put your hand in?” -Analeigh Beslisle
“Well it’s a good thing your face isn’t ugly, so you can have ugly fingers and no one will notice.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“I’m rabid for toenails.” -Analeigh Beslisle
"This thing is so long! Mr. Cumdih." -Halsey Burton
"That should be the illegal stuff. Not taking lead balls out of your neck sack." -Val Goode
“I’m a predator.” -Ripkin Rohloff
"Can't you just... take off your acne?" -Brady Burkett
“Ya don’t wanna leave it dangling, ya know?” -Evie Knight
“Don’t feed the creature.” -Sam Holbrook
"Why is this pencil so long?" -Lydia Redder
"Tell me that does not look like the face of an idiot." -Nicole Sietsma
“Squeaky cheeks.” -Mrs. Obluda/Ben Schwarz
“Oh boy i’m tight.” -Evie Knight
“Oh I wanna sucky dick.” -Evie Knight
“The door will always be open. So will my legs.” -Evie Knight
“Well if you’re vegan phobic that means you’re not nice.” -The Vegan Teacher
“I’ll put anything I want into the universe, or into you.” -Evie Knight
“I just say ‘that’s what she said’, and ‘harder daddy’, but that’s it!” -Austen Smith
“My dad forced me to watch boobcock.” -Brooke Bower
“Who’s in you?!? I’m in you.” -Analeigh Beslisle
“That’s my tit. It’s pretty big. You can have it if you want.” -Analeigh Beslisle
"Like, seriously! I just realized, it's so long. Quote book." -Lydia Redder
"I do kiss fish, thank you. I am that ldesperate." -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"Yeah. My butthole is tiny." -Zoe Cooper-Serna
“I saw that tongue.” -Will Krueger
"Wait, what state is New York in again?" -Norah Smith
"Oh my god. Just killed a goose." -Charity Kleier
" I wanna fatshame someone." -Grace Cox
"My dih is not dih-ing right now!" -Grace Cox
“I just need to get between your legs for a second.” -Will Krueger
“Okay boo boo.” -Ellie McMeeking
“My feet are getting fucked from the back.” -Luci Guido
“It’s like pilates on crack.” -Loni Obluda
“I actually really like massacres.” -Analeigh Beslisle
"Ignorance is bliss when it comes to hot homophobic celebrity men." -Will Krueger
“The cow was just a coincidence. A cowincidence.” -Michael Krueger
“It feels nice on my tongue.” -Evie Knight
“It’s a beautiful tool. I love it.” -Evie Knight
“Donde está my fuckin dad?” -Will Krueger
"No, HE just killed a goose, not me!" -Charity Kleier
“Hold on, I think my brother is beating up my cat.” -Ellie McMeeking
"Stop spitting on me you filthy animal."-Val Goode
"A little begging child in the streets of Romania." -Petr Holubar
"I'm scared to bend over." -Luci Guido
“They’re so warm.” -Evie Knight
“I carry the load.” -Ben Schwarz
“Yeah, put it in.” -Evie Knight
"I hope you trip over yourself and spill hot tea on a child." -Lydia Redder
"Don't take it out and make it awkward." -Ripkin Rohloff
“Cuz. They’re big.” -Quinn Burback
“Oh it’s wet down there.” -River Sichmeller
"If its kind, it's okay." -Ms. Gidrewicz or whatever
"Some people don't like it because it's hard." -Ms. Gidrewicz or whatever
“You gotta grind up the pigs before you snort them anyways.” -Michael Krueger
“Cuz you’ve seen his thing?” -Evie Knight
“Indiana is a piece of shit.” -Sam Bren
“I’ll go up Calliou’s chute. Wait, other way around.” -Evie Knight
“I like 69.” -Evie Knight
“I love eating the big balls.” -Analeigh Beslisle
"Why are we talking about Grace like she's a smokable substance?." -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"Cleveland? I heard cleavage." -Charity Kleier
"For real! Like, I love a 7-foot man!" -Zoe Cooper-Serna
"There's so much spit inside that machine." -Nicole Seitsma
“I’ve got abs of yogurt.” -Teresa Krueger
“I’ll go down with the clown any day.” -Evie Knight
“Everyone at school calls me Gigachin.” -Evie Leier
“Can I give your face a fistbump?” -Allyson Dixon
“Murder is hot, okay!” -Billie Russell
“CAMPGROUND CAMPGROUND CAMPGROUND!!!!” -Ellie McMeeking
“Hahaha you look like you’re on drugs right now, honey.” -Billie Russell

By hillryana

#1 on google, put it on essays, speeches, just yes Tier

inside joke material. emphasis on inside Tier

okay i can get behind this one Tier

you didn't stick out to me. (dance moms mentioned) Tier

oh... that's not... Tier

no. just no. Tier

BURNING THIS AND THROWING YOU STRAIGHT INTO HELL Tier