Quotes. You've been warned.

“I can love chicken nuggies and still love the gays.” -Evie Knight

"It's your business if you wanna get in the coochie." -Will Krueger

“That’s cuz he’s more of a dick to me. He only has one so he has to use it sparingly. Meanwhile, I have four, so i can be a dick as much as I want. And eat dick as much as I want” -Evie Knight

"Those blueberries kinda look like titties." -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"He fits! He fits perfectly!" -Lydia Redder

"Look how Kevin fits! C'mere!" -Lydia Redder

“Stop being so hard with it, just go with the flow.” -Charlotte Richmond

“No! He fit and I was so happy!” -Lydia Redder

“I deleted my playlist of one year! It had a thousand thongs.” -Val Goode

"For real! Like, I love a 7-foot man!" -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"There's so much spit inside that machine." -Nicole Seitsma

“I’ve got abs of yogurt.” -Teresa Krueger

“I’ll go down with the clown any day.” -Evie Knight

"He fits! Ooh, he fits!' -Lydia Redder

“Everyone at school calls me Gigachin.” -Evie Leier

“Can I give your face a fistbump?” -Allyson Dixon

“Murder is hot, okay!” -Billie Russell

“CAMPGROUND CAMPGROUND CAMPGROUND!!!!” -Ellie McMeeking

“Hahaha you look like you’re on drugs right now, honey.” -Billie Russell

“When doing a colonoscopy, you gotta put your back into it.” -Sam Holbrook

“Cocadoodle doo motherfucker, am I right?” -Eli Young

“I think my forehead should count for two people.” -Billie Russell

“Replant and reproduce, that’s what I like to say.” -Eli Young

"She's moaning and he's talking about putting your back into a colonoscopy." -Ripkin Rohloff

"I'm about to lay an egg." -Brandon Radcliffe

"plz I am innocent" -Conner Lang

"I turned out to be a burnt, crispy raisin." -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"I don't have any, either. Don't feel bad." -Lydia Redder

"You're being too zesty. You're my husband, not Porter's." -Lela Kaufman

"Never do identity theft." -Lydia Redder

"That's hard." -Tyden Greene

"That's not a good quote. It's not special." -River Sichmeller

"Ooh, that's a juicy marker." -Loni Obluda

"Cocaine is fun." -River Sichmeller (This is a joke)

“You smell like you bathed in a candle.” -Evie Knight

“Frying pan with a big-ah handle if you know what I mean.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“I love that picture. It looks like she’s deepthroating the pool noodle.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“Not the synagogue getting defiled!” -Billie Russell

“What is wrong with CCC?” -Quinn Burback

“Mmmm i love breakfast” -Sam Holbrook

“I’m making you ramen, be happy.” -Luci Warziniack

“The oppiest op in opmerica.” -Billie Russel

“Be patient you pigs.” Nikola Pawelski

“Well, we’re just better than them snap snap SNAP” -Billie Russell

“It kinda looks like you did something to a Smurf.” Eli Young

“Ahhhh I’m a nicotine addict.” -Eli Young

“I usually just have an egg.” -Ben Schwarz

"Am I crazy- Don't answer that." -Loni Obluda

“Is this the WeHo of New Orleans?” -Will Krueger

“Hehe 69.” -Evie Knight

“Guys I make a really hot man.” -Ellie McMeeking

“Don’t do that! You’ll give me more split ends.” -Wendi Burback

“I need water! I’m dehydrated! I feel parched!” -Analeigh Beslisle

”The heel is like the doghouse.” -Val Goode

“The holy trinity of stuffed wolves.” -Val Goode

“If I was a girl I’d be a baddie.” -Kellan Reese

“Don’t smell the sound. That’s not a thing.” -Marley Jennings

“Was there a hand just then?!?!” -Luci Warziniack

“The coffee go woooo” -Allyson Dixon

“No finger kisses for you, asshole.” -Luci Warziniack

“I think he was chlorine crazy.” -Milo Pease

“Sometimes you have to just accept it and embrace the airport.” -Luci Warziniack

“Marriage is a state of mind, not a state of being.” -Will Krueger

“IM LITERALLY COOKING!” -Val Goode

“PICK ME, CHOOSE ME, SHOOT ME (don’t actually shitface) -Allyson Dixon

“Pee yourself so we’ll be twinning!” -Shiloh Speciner

“It’s a surprise from America!” -Allyson Dixon

“I wear thongs all the time.” -Isaac Walker

“tis a HOT saber tooth tiger” -Elias Young

“I just say Sam, and they both come.” -Allyson Dixon

“It’s in my computer slot.” -Luci Warziniack

“This flipping AirTag.” -Allyson Dixon

“I WANT GARLIC KNOTS!!!” -Val Goode

“If you’re in love, say you’re in love.” -Jennifer Jennings

“I committed a crime today and it will not be disclosed.” -Milo Pease

“If you slap Val, Val will slap you.” -Alex Harper

“Like a colonoscopy, but through the other end.” -Anonymous

“Sometimes I fail in life.” -Allyson Dixon

“The whole bus is in Krestina. Poor Krestina.” -Luci Warziniack

“My soul hurts.” -Luci Warziniack

“I don’t want to pull a muscle, I wanna pull a hot Greek man.” -William Krueger

“I have a singular pack of ab.” -Izach Zamora

“If you think about it, I’m not fat. I just have one big ab.” -Izach Zamora

“I’m gonna deepthroat a good old cigarette.” -Eli Young

“The peas are not appeasing right now, bruh.” -Luci Warziniack

“I’m crying as I moan.” -Eli Young

"plz help me" -Conner Lang

"How did you make it tiny?" -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"Not the chicken drumstick playing baseball. That's literally Sully." -Will Krueger

“Not me. I finish every time.” Akira Sharpe

“Yes but he’s OUR golf ball.” -Billie Russell

"You're screwing me right now bruh." -Luci Guido

"I can't get out! It's stuck!" -Luci Guido

“I could be a porn star, let’s be real.” -Billie Russell

“Aaaaaah slurp.” -Sam Bren

“It takes a moment my phone is blonde like me.” -June Kelleher

“Why is there cleavage on my neck? My boobs are down here, not up there.” -Luci Guido

“Ugh I can’t speakkk. Hawk tuahhh.” -Luci Guido

“Frick I knocked the weiner down.” -Luci Guido

“You only love it if you can pop it and stuff comes out.” Lilou Huzieff

“That’s just my autism, don’t worry about it.” -Brielle Luna

“If she’s nine, she’s mine. If she’s eight she’s great.” -Grace Cox

“If the shoe fits, lace that bitch up.” -Renee Rapp

“You really gotta clap it, ya know?” -Charlotte Richmond

“Where’s the kid? I wanna break him.” - Anna Seigfried

“I know. We’re literally twins. I came from you.” -Billie Russell

“Quote me on that, I’m gonna cry.” -Luci Guido

“I don’t have enough bookshelves. These bitches be overflowing.” -Billie Russell

“Guys the new season of Ginny and Georgia is out. I need to watch my laundry and fold it.” -Luci Guido

“I want it to explode tho.” -Billie Russell

“You look like the Onceler heehaha.” -Lela Kaufman

“You’d be like, ‘Ooh, testosterone. Also, boobs.’” -Lela Kaufman

“Please don’t refer to yourself as an estrogenius.” -Billie Russell

“my dry hoe is being dryer than his dry boner” -Luci Guido

“Just this morning I was thinking about how I should purchase more underwear.” -James Krueger

“We’re REALLY Amish.” -Lela Kaufman

“I was orange too!” -Ellie McMeeking

“You can’t wait for magic!” -Brooke Bower

“Does this bus have seat belts?” -Brooke Bower

“He’s stupid.” -Porter Kelly

“You don’t have my consent right now.” -Quinn Burback

“WHAT IF HE MEANT FEET?!?!” -Lela Kaufman

“I’m deepthroating my card.” -Quinn Burback

“I really ate up with that one. Dick that is.” -Billie Russell

“If I could kidnap a baby, I would.” Olive Giuliani

“You can be lesbians. It’s okay.” -Lela Kaufman

“Sorry phone, my dad died.” -Ellie McMeeking

“Is that the missisippi? It’s ugly.” Ellie McMeeking

“I don’t think I wanna bite your stomach.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“I’m sorry I don’t find mustard attractive.” -Julianna Lehman

“He’s in the trunk.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“I’m shedding.” -Evie Knight

“So if I spray it in you…” -Sam Bren

“Hahaha I need a gun.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“If he gets cream, I get cream.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“Fuck me in the asshole.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“That’s so real bruh. My soul hurts too. And my ankles.” -Billie Russell

"My class is full of mistakes." -Julie Thompson

"What if I'm afraid of girls?" -Greyson Elliot

“I felt like being a horse for a second. Is that so wrong???” -Evie Knight

"I don't feel important anymore." -Sarah Tenbrink

"He just goes, 'Hey Loni. Your mom called. She said you were a mistake." -Loni Obluda

“Flip it, bitches.” -Teresa Krueger

“I think there’s something inherently phallic about the Amazon logo.” -Michael Krueger

“Holy shit my thigh is pink.” -Evie Knight

"It's not my fault my dad shot me out of his ballsack." -Ripkin Rohloff

"Don't poke, stab." -Ripkin Rohloff

"I need to kill it! I got it. Oh wait, she's still alive." -Val Goode

“The dresses will come in freakishly long.” -Loni Obluda

“Damn he knows how to do it.” -Val Goode

"These seventh graders are fuckin rabid." -Val Goode

"I have blowing skills too." -Will Krueger

“Let’s go from the bottom up, shall we?”-Will Krueger

"My sister is pregnant. I'm gonne be a dad!" Holden Koenig

"Get your cheekies back to your assigned spot." -Nicole Seitsma

"We're not cows, we're majestic sheep!" -Loni Obluda

"Nothing says America like deep-fried eagles." -Loni Obluda

"I'm a grown man. I mean woman." -Charity Kleier

"You also have chin wrinkles. Chinkles." -Will Krueger

"If Will is a lesbian, doesn't that mean he's just straight with extra steps?" -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"She revolves around David now." -Maycie Snowdon

“I’m flesh, thank you.” -Val Goode

“Goodbye Denver, hello Colorado.” -Breccan Laffey

“I can always go higher. Just sniff more.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“I am still a virgin.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“Burgers are meat smoothies actually.” -Austen Smith

“Everything wishes it was Dawn, let’s be real.” -Billie Russell

“So gorgeous, I love seeing placenta everywhere.” -Billie Russell

“He’s just a dumbass straight boy with a different perspective.” -Will Krueger

“I’m a bacon eater.” -Loni Obluda

“Is cool. Wink wink… why the fuck did i say that?” -Billie Russell

"I love being on the Norah rollercoaster. There's so many feelings." -Evy Trimmer

"I'm built carbonated." -Grace Cox

"I'm not gonna deepthroat a chicken." -Will Krueger

"Zoe, let's just pretend to be normal. You don't have to be normal, just pretend for us." -Nicole Seitsma

"At least let me swallow." -Lily Kneizler

“We love ozempic dogs.” -Zoe Cooper-Serna

“She’s slim thick.” -Val Goode

"He's literally made of 5 twigs and a rock head." -Sage Maggiore

“I need to be like chained up in a mental asylum like what the hell is wrong with me?” -Billie Russell

“Hot hot bitch motherfucking ow.” -Billie Russell

"Can you laugh off pounds?" -Aniya Frierson

“Me and Sam had her do it with hard and soft ones.” -Evie Knight

“If Jesus was alive right now, y’all would’ve called him a socialist and deported him.” -James Krueger

“What happened? Was she abused? -Ben Sichmeller

“Connection unstable. Just like me!” -Evie Knight

“I wanna go to the top.” -Evie Knight

"I like opiods." -Jazz Mooney

"I wonder if anyone has ever tried to like... give birth to the world. If that makes sense." -Aniya Frierson

“I’m not. Because i’m the hole.” -Evie Knight

“He may not have food, but he has has friends. And when they get hungry enough, they’ll eat each other. Anyways.” -Evie Knight

"Doesn't Lee look like he could suck some dick?" -Sarah Tenbrink

"Give me head, Lee Doe." -Gus Fling

"I'll touch it by the tip." -Rye Evans

“Eat a dick, pal.” -James Krueger

"Can I bite this balloon and drink up all it's helium?" -Norah Smith

"Why can I feel my heartbeat in my asshole?" -Sarah Tenbrink

“We have a handshake. It’s basically marriage.” -River Sichmeller

“There’s nothing funny about Jeffrey Epstein.” -Aspen Ligon

“Nikola, you swallowed it whole!” -Valerie Goode

“I’ll shoot you in one hole and out the other.” -Evie Knight

"I therapize myself. And others." -Ripkin Rohloff

“I got a pokey in my underwear.” -Billie Russell

“I love little girls. They’re so cute bro.” -Billie Russell

"I always finish." -Ripkin Rohloff

"I'll throw hands with fractions." -Nicole Sietsma

“Snow White has a foot dick.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“This is the dildo tree.” -Lilly Kneiszler

“I’d love to give anorexia a go but my body is build for food.” -Helen Goode

"I plan to do it on my period so I have an excuse to be a bitch." -Val Goode

“Say little ginger man tap dancing.” -Val Goode

“It’s the one with a dick in his mouth sideways.” -Evie Knight

“Can I touch it?” -Olive Giuliani

“As Olive once said, ‘Can I touch it?’”-Flynn Sullivan

"I am a biohazard." -Sarah Tenbrink

“I’m feeling the vibrations in my throat. That feels nice.” -Evie Knight

"I'm about to unconceal my concealed firearm if you don't give me my fries in the next 5 seconds." -Ripkin Rohloff

"I wish restraining orders weren't a thing." -Sarah Tenbrink

“I would be a pedophile. Loud and proud.” -Evie Knight

"I'm gonna start barkin." -Will Krueger

"I like edging in Gus." -Rye Evans

"Do you think they blocked Foot Finder?" -Sarah Tenbrink

“These children need The Lord.” -Loni Obluda

“Yes, Olive is ahead of Elijah. I like her more.” -Evie Knight

"She's caressing my curves." -Adaya Bravo

“Like nudity?!?!” -Aspen Ligon

“LET ME LIVE MY PRETTY PRINCE LIFE.” -Ripkin Rohloff

“Nikola swallows people with her dih. It’s shaped like the demigorgon from Stranger Things.” -Will Krueger

“Why didn’t that go in, bro?” -Ripkin Rohloff

"It's only a problem if its wet." -Nicole Sietsma

"I'm so good with scissors. Just look what I did to my bangs."-Zoe Cooper-Serna

“Your name looks retarded.” -Lydia Redder

“Donkey tatas in your burrito.” -James Krueger

"Is Smurf cum blue? That's the question of the day." -Will Krueger

“Felicia, go back in.” -Charity Kleier

"Fut the shuck up." - Shiloh Speciners

*starts changing* "You girl, I girl, it's okay!" *proceeds to piss herself* - Shiloh Speciner

"I wonder if kids born in China have a label on them that says, 'Made in China'." -Ripkin Rohloff

“First I was jerking off to my granddad, now I like Ted Bundy.” -Ripkin’s Fav Podcast Ig

“But he’s the cutest muffin ever!” -Austen Smith

“It takes us months to learn how to play a note right, but you’re just like, ‘Haha, key go bingbong.’” -Will Krueger

"You look like a white man with slaves." -Lydia Redder

“When the two balls bang together…” -Frenchy Morrisette

“I’ll put my barrel in your cracker.” -Will Krueger

“It’s a bag of wooden fucks. Put it in.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“Men from Dubai, no lie.” -Rando Lady in Denver

“We can just kidnap you. We’re not legally required to bring you home.” -Austen Smith

“Your crack is so crooked!” -Austen Smith

“well he’ll prob grow out of the acne. sadly you can’t grow out of being ginger.” -Evie Knight

“Can you put your hand in?” -Analeigh Beslisle

“Well it’s a good thing your face isn’t ugly, so you can have ugly fingers and no one will notice.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“I’m rabid for toenails.” -Analeigh Beslisle

"This thing is so long! Mr. Cumdih." -Halsey Burton

"That should be the illegal stuff. Not taking lead balls out of your neck sack." -Val Goode

“I’m a predator.” -Ripkin Rohloff

"Can't you just... take off your acne?" -Brady Burkett

“Ya don’t wanna leave it dangling, ya know?” -Evie Knight

“Don’t feed the creature.” -Sam Holbrook

"Why is this pencil so long?" -Lydia Redder

"Tell me that does not look like the face of an idiot." -Nicole Sietsma

“Squeaky cheeks.” -Mrs. Obluda/Ben Schwarz

“Oh boy i’m tight.” -Evie Knight

“Oh I wanna sucky dick.” -Evie Knight

“The door will always be open. So will my legs.” -Evie Knight

“Well if you’re vegan phobic that means you’re not nice.” -The Vegan Teacher

“I’ll put anything I want into the universe, or into you.” -Evie Knight

“I just say ‘that’s what she said’, and ‘harder daddy’, but that’s it!” -Austen Smith

“My dad forced me to watch boobcock.” -Brooke Bower

“Who’s in you?!? I’m in you.” -Analeigh Beslisle

“That’s my tit. It’s pretty big. You can have it if you want.” -Analeigh Beslisle

"Like, seriously! I just realized, it's so long. Quote book." -Lydia Redder

"I do kiss fish, thank you. I am that ldesperate." -Zoe Cooper-Serna

"Yeah. My butthole is tiny." -Zoe Cooper-Serna

“I saw that tongue.” -Will Krueger

"Wait, what state is New York in again?" -Norah Smith

"Cleveland? I heard cleavage." -Charity Kleier

"Oh my god. Just killed a goose." -Charity Kleier

" I wanna fatshame someone." -Grace Cox

"My dih is not dih-ing right now!" -Grace Cox

“I just need to get between your legs for a second.” -Will Krueger

“Okay boo boo.” -Ellie McMeeking

“My feet are getting fucked from the back.” -Luci Guido

“It’s like pilates on crack.” -Loni Obluda

“I actually really like massacres.” -Analeigh Beslisle

"Ignorance is bliss when it comes to hot homophobic celebrity men." -Will Krueger

“The cow was just a coincidence. A cowincidence.” -Michael Krueger

“It feels nice on my tongue.” -Evie Knight

“It’s a beautiful tool. I love it.” -Evie Knight

“Donde está my fuckin dad?” -Will Krueger

"No, HE just killed a goose, not me!" -Charity Kleier

“Hold on, I think my brother is beating up my cat.” -Ellie McMeeking

"Stop spitting on me you filthy animal."-Val Goode

"A little begging child in the streets of Romania." -Petr Holubar

"I'm scared to bend over." -Luci Guido

“They’re so warm.” -Evie Knight

“I carry the load.” -Ben Schwarz

“Yeah, put it in.” -Evie Knight

"I hope you trip over yourself and spill hot tea on a child." -Lydia Redder

"Don't take it out and make it awkward." -Ripkin Rohloff

“Cuz. They’re big.” -Quinn Burback

“Oh it’s wet down there.” -River Sichmeller

"If its kind, it's okay." -Ms. Gidrewicz or whatever

"Some people don't like it because it's hard." -Ms. Gidrewicz or whatever

“You gotta grind up the pigs before you snort them anyways.” -Michael Krueger

“Cuz you’ve seen his thing?” -Evie Knight

“Indiana is a piece of shit.” -Sam Bren

“I’ll go up Calliou’s chute. Wait, other way around.” -Evie Knight

“I like 69.” -Evie Knight

“I love eating the big balls.” -Analeigh Beslisle

"Why are we talking about Grace like she's a smokable substance?." -Zoe Cooper-Serna